I regret to inform you all that I have become a vampire.

Yes, somewhere in the midst of this quarter my humanity lies dead in the water, and in its place have formed a suit of pallid skin and a cold, dead heart. I have developed an aversion to the sun and to disgusting human food. I anticipate that in the coming months I will either permanently move either underground or into space.

I know this may come as a shock to you, friends, but I just want to let you know that I will still be available during night and early morning hours.

Ah, mortals, it appears that the sun is rising once again, it is time for me to take my leave. I'm sure we will meet again during the next solar eclipse...Or perhaps on the internet.